It turns my brain upside down to think that at the midst of your work day
She is the one that you attend to, either mentally or actually, first…
I gave my services, my soul, my jewels away,
To help feed HER?
That whenever an acquaintance runs into you,
Their conversation goes to congratulate you on your being single no more,
With such an enchanting, beautiful and intelligent woman…
Who is NOT me
Because of your insistence and your action that that person is NOT me
I am no longer able to view myself in any way reflective of the beauty and grace
That I thought I possessed even on a part-time basis
I begin to feel a deep shame toward my heritage
Develop a wish that my genes looked more like hers
The missed opportunity while my soul was incarnating,
Handed to her instead.
For I could have turned out such a shining diamond
Loved and desired by everyone around it
Only because of her corporeal aesthetics
An easy life paved for her, never struggles
And now you willingly and fervently giving all of you to have and keep her.
I keep my distance from humanity,
Analyze it but not celebrate with it
For this is the only way to protect my heart
Which cannot afford to be torn again.
I shall be alone, witnessing the coming and passing of corporeal bodies
Witnessing births and deaths
That are nothing but speckles in the sand
Brought here by the wind, blown away by the wind as well.