Day 5 of the drudgery

12/29/2016

It turns my brain upside down to think that at the midst of your work day

She is the one that you attend to, either mentally or actually, first…

I gave my services, my soul, my jewels away,

To help feed HER?

 

That whenever an acquaintance runs into you,

Their conversation goes to congratulate you on your being single no more,

With such an enchanting, beautiful and intelligent woman…

Who is NOT me

 

Because of your insistence and your action that that person is NOT me

I am no longer able to view myself in any way reflective of the beauty and grace

That I thought I possessed even on a part-time basis

 

I begin to feel a deep shame toward my heritage

Develop a wish that my genes looked more like hers

The missed opportunity while my soul was incarnating,

Handed to her instead.

 

For I could have turned out such a shining diamond

Loved and desired by everyone around it

Only because of her corporeal aesthetics

An easy life paved for her, never struggles

And now you willingly and fervently giving all of you to have and keep her.

 

I keep my distance from humanity,

Analyze it but not celebrate with it

For this is the only way to protect my heart

Which cannot afford to be torn again.

 

I shall be alone, witnessing the coming and passing of corporeal bodies

Witnessing births and deaths

That are nothing but speckles in the sand

Brought here by the wind, blown away by the wind as well.

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